2018 was one hell of a year to say the least. It was filled with new beginnings, heartbreak and a whole lot of looking within Pandora’s Box that I have hidden away inside me. Despite the wild ride 2018 was I managed to come out stronger than ever but without the swimsuit body to show for it. Here are some of the biggest take away moments from this year I would love to highlight for you.
If I had to pick one word to describe 2018 as a whole it would be ‘surrender.’ Even if I wanted to resist resist the obstacles and emotional reflection I went through this year the easier road was just to surrender and allow life to flow naturally on the path it had chosen for me. It all began this year after stepping down from a position I had worked for the last 5 years to begin a new role with a different company. I launched my blog which I had been too terrified to do prior as I was nervous opening my heart to all of you for the first time. I then was diagnosed with a health problem that shook me to my core and lastly my 4 year relationship came to an end. I did not realize how strong my soul was until facing all of this throughout the year. Despite all these trials and tribulations this last year also was so very beautiful. I got to travel to so many places that I had only ever saw in photographs. I was able to let go of so many of my insecurities that hindered my emotional and physical growth. Finally and most importantly even with all that might have happened this year positive and negative I can honestly say I would not change a thing. Surrendering to what life throws my way has been the least stressful way to manage a situation than trying to let it overpower my life and state of mind. Challenge your own thoughts and try to get to the root of where they originate.
Investing In You.
I often reach out to fellow bloggers and social influencers for different advice because sometimes I feel like I going crazy inside. My friend Joelle (@lapetitenoob) has told me so many times that I need to not compare myself to other people in the same industry and just focus my energy into the art I create. I don’t think I was ready to listen to her advice because I spent countless hours on other influencers accounts and blogs trying to figure out how they accomplished their success. Then one day it really just hit me square in the face which I had an honest conversation with myself. I took a step back and analyzed the thoughts I had going through my mind. My thoughts were all so negative, so envious and after deciding they were unhealthy I needed to STOP them right in that given moment. It is funny because within that one week of just focusing my energy the universe rewarded me with an amazing job!
Many of you will never get to see the fiery Aries side of me that comes out when I feel attacked or rejected. After this past year I am truly working on myself to never show that side of me to anyone ever again. In the past I would get so outraged when fighting with anyone - I would have no issues arguing until I was blue in the face. This is something I really have been making a conscious effort toward and trying my best to remain calm and cantered when interacting with people. Learning how to ‘listen and understand’ rather ‘listen to respond’ was a big learning moment for me. A great best practice is to repeat back what they said to yourself and then continue with how that might have made you feel. I had realized that overreacting only brings out the worst even in the best people and I do not want that for anyone anymore. I like to think of myself as a good listener but I also had to think about working on how to be a good listener when someone needed to address something that may have to do with my own actions or reactions.
I have to be honest with you all that this one is still very much a work in progress but I don’t think that growth just comes from the final result it is also the process that gets you there. Let’s just say this one is still losing and I am trying to work on it everyday. It was definitely easier having alone time when I had a loving man at home waiting for me but now that I’m single again that alone time is all the time and it is a completely different feeling - sometimes a struggle. Being alone with myself and doing things alone is no longer an issue and for that I am proud. Before this year that would NEVER had happened. It is more when I get home at the end of the night and it is just me, my thoughts and the four walls of my bedroom that makes me uncomfortable. I guess I need to learn my ‘new’ normal of being single again. One thing I have been trying to practice before I got to bed is ‘joy with gratitude.’ I will either go over in my head or write down the good things that happened throughout my day and give thanks for them. I find this helps to end my day on a positive note before I fall asleep and set good intentions for the dream world I’m about to enter. Well my beautiful readers I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to read my words and allow me to be so vulnerable with all of you. I hope that all of you enter into 2019 with all that you have learned or are still learning and make it the absolute best year yet! Please know that my email is always open to all of you and I am always here to listen and offer my best advice from my own personal experiences. Sending you all so much love and light! Happy New Year!